Maybe you always loved going to the theater but your husband hated it. "Exercising your interest in those again is important to rebuilding yourself." The life-changing period of divorce, though often difficult and unwelcome, holds a silver lining: to shake things up and try on a new lifestyle.
"What were your hobbies and activities before the marriage? Maybe it's as simple as a pixie haircut after a lifetime of wearing long, flowing locks.
Society is much more accepting of singles than even a decade ago, when solo restaurant diners often got the hairy eyeball.
"Whatever your marriage and divorce experience has been, there will be emotions that have to do with grief," says psychotherapist Florence Falk, Ph D, MSW, author of On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone.
Find a way to work through the lingering emotions from the demise of your marriage, advises psychologist Robert Alberti, Ph D, co-author of Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends.
That may mean talking out your feelings with a therapist or focusing your energy in a healthy activity you enjoy.
What is your new life going to look like, and how do you start moving in that direction?
Here are eight of the first steps: Nobody gets married thinking, "I sure hope we can get divorced someday!
"For example, maybe you've always dated people from a certain socioeconomic background," Alberti says.