People who don’t know us well are likely to project their own experiences on us, simply because they don’t know who we are.A better, more mindful approach to resolve this dilemma and find the middle ground is to identify our personal deal breakers, those non-negotiables that we just cannot abide in a partner—and should not, for our own well-being.People who have health issues, STDs, or a history of drug problems, for instance, may get along better with people who understand because they've been there too or are still grappling with that particular problem.Additionally, traits like impulsivity (not on the top 10 but still a deal breaker, according to the study) may be a turn-off to someone who prefers stability in life yet hold serious appeal for someone who needs more excitement.Beyond these more obvious deal breakers are a host of things some singles will not tolerate from a partner such as poor hygiene, a sloppy or unattractive appearance, neediness or possessiveness, jealousy, smoking, a lack of social skills, bad sex or a lack of affection, a poor sense of humor, or an unhealthy lifestyle.If that’s not enough, we also would do well to examine our tolerance of a potential partner’s poor health, financial instability, family ties and cultural expectations or physical distance from us.
It can feel like a fine line sometimes when it comes to dating: finding the balance between not settling just to be with someone and being so choosy that we end up alone.
A good friend will also never let us settle for less than we deserve.
Unfortunately, all too often it’s our casual acquaintances who are quick to offer an opinion on which way we’ve drifted.
Clearly, the more deal breakers we have, the narrower our pool of potential dates will be.
Keep in mind, however, that having no date is usually preferable to a being on a bad date, so the self-examination is worth the effort.
nailed down the top 10 most common deal breakers for short- and long-term relationships alike.