Meeting women is hard because when (if) they flash a big smile (with their nice teeth) at me I just can’t do a big, natural smile back at them.I just *know* they’ll notice how bad things are and be turned off. Reading through question 99 again…so maybe looks don’t matter and it’s mostly in my head.Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. It is *the* way to get us to lie down in Procrustes’s magic bed of our own free will. You get to reject people (and they get to reject you) as dating partners for any reason at any time. Which also means people get to make snap judgments about you and decide, “and there is no way you can “deserve” attention or affection from a specific person. I’m asthmatic, and even the residue/smell on clothes triggers my wheezing. Your profile lists 10,000 supercool books, bands, and movies and all of it was made by white men? You live in a place not reachable by public transit? But 1,000s of guys are looking at my profile and thinking, “” to call me names and remind me that I shouldn’t get to be picky or “judgmental” about men when I am such a fatty-fat-fatty (manatee, cow, pig, whale, she-beast, etc.) They feel “tricked” into “wasting time” looking at my profile.That’s why I advocate for asking people out sooner rather than later and without a sense of entitlement or getting too invested. We are works in progress, so maybe a year from now you’ll be an ex-smoker and I totally missed my shot with a great guy. (Update as of 10/2012: Currently dating a considerate smoker who never smokes around me. ) Want to tell me about how you love Ron Paul or your favorite book is ? What they don’t understand…I mean, one of the many, many, MANY things they don’t understand…is that I think that they get to be picky, and that I also get to be picky.If you enjoy yourself here and can spare a few $, I appreciate them and put them to good use.
Or it might be something else, like how I always think of the worst possible thing to say for any occasion and many times my filter does not catch these things before I say them out loud. I don’t believe that you must smooth all your imperfections (or what society perceives as imperfections) away to become a thin, (straight, white), wealthy, positive!
w=264" class="size-full wp-image-1869" title="chris_traeger" src="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/chris_traeger.jpg? w=545" alt="Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec" srcset="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/chris_264w, https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/chris_traeger.jpg?
), and to, uh, celebrate this milestone I will be posting a ton and gently directing readers toward the Donation Page all week as part of a twice-yearly pledge drive (in lieu of running ads).
As a straight white woman, I get more messages from suitors than others might.
I personally privilege men who have a strong command of language, spelling, and grammar, which means I may be passing on some great people who suffer from dyslexia or who didn’t have the same educational opportunities I did.
Dear Embarrassed: I did say all that stuff, so, sorry: Your teeth might be a dealbreaker for me in feeling attracted to you.