If I were in your situation, I would do whatever I could to avoid the subject of this ex-girlfriend altogether.
I hope this article helped give you some clarity on how to handle things if he’s still in touch with his ex. There is one defining moment in every relationship that determines if it will last, or if you will be left heartbroken…
They’re disrespecting my ability to make a decision based on my evidence and what I see in front of me.
So my opinion is to not respond to whatever his situation is with his ex…
but other times they were absolutely, positively wrong.
But I can tell you, every time that someone has pressured me by telling me their opinion of someone more than once, I started to resent them for making the complaint. Because when they tell me more than once that they don’t agree with my relationship with a person, they’re disrespecting me.
Now, have you ever had someone you had a relationship with that other people didn’t approve of… People would say they didn’t like the person and they would give a reason. It was yours – they didn’t know the person in the way you knew them. and frankly, you didn’t want to explain it to them because really it’s none of their business (and they probably wouldn’t see your point of view anyway).
The first time you would take their opinion into consideration (because after all, the person who said it to you is probably someone that you know cares for you.) But regardless of their opinion, it didn’t change yours. Still, you appreciated their sentiment since you knew it was said out of their love and concern for you. Now you’re getting annoyed – they don’t know that person how you know them!
But getting worked up about it will most likely lead you to a bad place… Years ago, I would be dating a girl and she would be carrying on conversations with an ex because he was a friend. It was my fear, but I would run it around in my head, again and again until it became this “monster” of a thought.
You’re going to handle it however you’re going to handle it – all I’m doing is sharing my experience with you.
But I can tell you from my experience (both on the giving and receiving end of things), outside opinions are not appreciated.
Playing detective or trying to control the other person to prevent them from being able to contact someone is just going to fill that person with resentment and will drain you of energy you could put towards better things… Seriously meditate on this thought: People are going to do whatever they want to do.
No amount of trying to control them, or to “guilt” them, or to reason with them, or to commit to them, etc. Of course your actions matter, but what I’m saying here is that in the end, you can’t control the other person and even if you were able to, it’s much better to know that the other person is going to be the way you want them to be without you having to expend energy on “controlling” them. I stopped trying to be perfect and control everything so I could feel OK.
Now I only have limited information, but in past situations like this women have told me it stems from the fear that he might have feelings for her or that he’s not totally over her.