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If you went for a drink with a journalist called Theo last Tuesday you may be particularly well-placed to answer this question.But I digress.) And so I found myself, purely out of socio-anthropological curiosity, signing up to one of the bimonthly tours organised by American ‘flirtologist’ Jean Smith.I ask her where the jumbo prawns are, following up with the devastating line: “They’re the only ones that really work in a risotto”.She looks as horrified with me as I am with myself. It’s not you, it’s them None of the rest of the group have had much luck, and we unburden our failings on Jean.In my eyes she is the near perfect girl - just my type, however from what she's described to me I don't particularly meet her standards. Should I just save myself from disappointment or am I panicking over nothing?

Knowing someone is watching and judging you on your performance motivates you to push conversations a bit further than they would normally go, and I end up talking to a friendly Argentinian for a while as I’m led in the wrong direction. Use props (but don’t let those props be jumbo prawns) Outside the supermarket, Jean tells us a smug story about how she met a long-term partner by commenting on the beer he was drinking at a bar.Could another explanation be she doesn’t match what’s right for you?Be cautious if she is finding fault with you before you’ve even met.If this feels uncomfortable consider what might be causing you to feel that way. Is your description of her a reflection of how much you like her or do you have a habit of putting potential dates on a pedestal? Could your belief that she is ‘perfect’ be a barrier – both in you seeing/ dating other people (as after all you and she have never met) or delaying meeting her (so you continue to build her up, perhaps into something that she really isn’t)?You seem to be seeing the relationship very much through her eyes.Of the other 14 participants, nobody was even approaching middle age and some were surprisingly young; some were male but most were female.

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