There’s also a reason that we don’t write many songs about which husband can build you the bigger house. I told her the story that I’ve just told you, and I told her that the worst thing she can do is to keep trying to sit on a fence between them.
As you go through life, it’s the emotional connection and understanding that count. Even if she can’t see how it’s going to happen, trying to have it both ways was going to mean . We had a long and intense conversation Saturday afternoon, but I might never hear from her again.
She was hoping the first woman would be out of the picture and she could finally have me.
I felt guilty, loving one but not wanting to hurt the other.
Because of the way I was raised, I have a very difficult time not giving other people what they want, emotionally, even when it’s not right for me. Even though I knew I loved the first woman, I felt that I must be doing something wrong.
What’s worse is that she begged me to change my mind.
She told me about how she had grown so much since she had known me and that she was afraid of what would happen to her without me. and we were still talking when the place closed at 11. I tried to explain why I needed to marry the other woman — that I loved her and that we were more compatible — but it was gut-wrenching. I knew who I loved, but I couldn’t bear hurting the other woman as I was.
(I did finally buy an engagement ring for her, which I still have.) I talked to the other one, too.
Although the specifics of her story are very different from what happened to me, the feelings she described were enough to remind me of where I was four years ago this month. She has two men who want to marry her, but she can’t decide what to do.
She’s dated both of them, but the relationships have been very different. She saw things in him that she knew needed work — for both of them. There aren’t the highs and lows, but there also isn’t the magical connection.
I eventually started seeing her regularly, but there was never any real feeling or connection there, despite the fact that I tried to force it.
I couldn’t commit to her, because she was a convenient, pragmatic back-up plan, not a woman I loved. The other one could have been a good and stable wife, even if I could have never had the connection I had with the first.
So while she’s been waffling about who to choose — and felt she had plenty of time to keep waffling — she feels that she’s run out of time.