We were (and still are) introverts with poor communication skills and anxiety/depression/mental-health issues.
I won't say it's been fairy-tale perfect—the kind of perfect that makes you barf and roll your eyes—but it's been pretty damn close.
For me, being comfortable with my husband and secure in the relationship made it so much easier to communicate and work on fixing the problems together.
It sounds cheesy, but marriage counseling really helped.
I strongly suspect that perseverance and a bit of luck were also major factors.
Practice, Practice, Practice My sex life improved after marriage.
And did they ever: My inbox is packed with e-mails from couples whose sex lives got better after the wedding. But we were both in our early 40s and ready to settle down.If I had a partner who was unwilling to talk about sex or try to fix it, I'd kick his ass to the curb without blinking.So with the help of counseling, I got him on board with dirty talk during sex (because it's important for me) and I worked (and still work) on telling him what to do when we bone.We didn't speak about it for a week, and then she calmly asked me if I wanted to do this with her instead of just watching porn about it. I have some physical ailments that can make sex painful.I fucked my husband on our first date because I wanted to see if he was any good. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, I'm on the autism spectrum, and I've experienced sexual trauma.There are many reasons why, including therapy, antidepressants, and weight loss and subsequent surgery—but I would have to say that the big reason is communication.