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Don't just ignore her message—text her and explain directly (but gently) that it just didn't click for you. When I finally logged on, I found out that they were right: It's all of that. The number of profiles I could scroll through was overwhelming.It was a Whole Foods of my own sexual imagination—and I was shopping on an empty stomach.It's a little weird at first, trusting a computer algorithm to pair you off.But three weeks (and six dates) from now, you'll realize that online dating is, for better and worse, just like regular dating—and not, sadly, like ordering a pizza online. It's boring, but dating-site handles aren't eligible for the Pulitzer.So let your freak/geek/pedantic-wine-lover flag fly."My life is CRAZY.

Mention a few TV shows, movies, bands, and books you enjoy, but take it easy on the esoteric poetry, eight-year-old Bay Area rap lyrics, and the word I.

Relax, don't overthink it, and remember that what you're putting up is the equivalent of first-date banter.

The process is a mild inconvenience, not a confession or a trap, so just chalk it up to the cost of being proactive. This sounds like some type of Yoda koan, but try to talk about what you like, not .

I'd end up on five or six dates in a week, sometimes scheduling Saturday brunch and dinner dates like a football player doing two-a-days to get in shape.

What would Pavlov say about a machine that lets you click a button and in return you might get the love of your life or a night of great sex? Sure, I had some apocalyptically bad dates, but most were a blast.

You could cast a wide net and sign up for every single dating site.

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